Officer and a Gentleman
by dragonwriter24cmf
Summary: Marisol's thoughts on her relationship with Horatio, and all the things she sees in him.


Officer and a Gentleman

**Summary:**Marisol's POV, on her relationship with Horatio, from first meeting to wedding Why she told Eric 'he's not the man you see in the office.'

Lieutenant Horatio Caine. Her brother's mentor, best friend, boss. If there's a man Eric admires more, she's yet to hear about it. She's always wondered what it would be like to meet him in person, to be face to face with her brother's idol. She's even more curious when she realizes he's also the unofficial hero of Miami. Lieutenant Caine. The top CSI.

Her first meeting isn't under the sort of circumstances she would choose. But after hearing her brother was arrested for marijuana possession, she knows she has to do something. It's her fault after all. The drug brings relief from the strain of cancer treatments, and Eric has been protecting her all this time. She can't let him take the fall for her. So she gathers her things, and makes her way to the police station, to talk to her brother's boss and plead for leniency.

He's easy enough to spot, when she walks through the doors. Red hair. Sunglasses on his person. Wearing a suit professional enough to look at home in a courtroom, and just rumpled enough to look completely comfortable. He looks as if he'd be equally happy wearing it in front of a jury, or taking a nap. Professional, but approachable. And he exudes the authority she's seen on TV, and heard her brother speak of. The knowledge gives her hope, that maybe he really can fix the situation.

Introducing herself to him reveals other things. Though he's thorough about looking into the details, like any good cop, he's also unfailingly courteous. He returns her name with his own, and leads her to a private office, letting her explain things at her own pace. She half-expects condemnation, for using illegal drugs, even for cancer, but he says nothing. Instead, he asks about her frequency of use, Eric's involvement. Throughout their conversation, his voice is level, even, and utterly polite. He calls her ma'am, and leads her through her explanation gently. It surprises her. She's heard from Eric how careful his boss can be, but still...she expected someone tougher, harder, sterner. This quiet, professional man who talks to her almost like a counselor is a far cry from the hard-nosed officer she expected to deal with.

She explains her cancer, the side effects that led to trying marijuana, how Eric lights her weed and sits with her, and how he helps feed her afterward. She feels embarrassed, explaining all these things to a stranger, especially one with such legendary status, but he keeps the tone of conversation relaxed. Even better, he thinks out loud, and his words make her feel like she's actually doing her brother some good. By the time the conversation ends, she feels lighter, hopeful. And when he promises her he'll take care of her brother, she believes him. And it's then, standing at the doorway, that she sees the officer she expected to see. The sternness. The resolve. The tough exterior that crosses his features like a mask. Not directed at her, but at the situation. And when she leaves, she has no doubt that Lieutenant Caine is going to rescue her brother. She leaves, heaving a sigh of relief, and almost doesn't think about the slight wistfulness at the thought that she's probably not going to encounter him again.

Their meeting a few weeks later is one of desperation on her part. She doesn't mean to get caught drug dealing, but she's having so much trouble, and many of her friends and support group members are worse. She also knows she can't ask Eric to be the go-between. Not anymore. So she takes the chance, makes the deal, only to have a policeman walk by at the worst possible moment. And while she tries to explain, she knows that the excuse sounds flimsy, and he's probably heard them all before. Eric is no help, he is her brother after all. So she reaches for the one person she thinks might be able to help her. The officer who was kind to her, and saved her brother's job and reputation.

Horatio comes, and he's just as polite as before. More than that, he's honest. He does tell her that she's committed a felony, and how. And yet, for all that she's engaged in criminal activity, and expects to be arrested, he doesn't give up. He delivers a lecture, then goes about the process of looking for loopholes. And despite all her expectations, and all Eric's fears, by the end of the day, he has one. Part of what she purchased is common oregano, vouched for by the drug dealer himself. Enough of it that she's under the legal limit for purchases. And so, she walks free, saved by this unexpectedly kind and determined officer.

She wants to thank him, and offers dinner. It's only when she sees the quick hesitation in his eyes that she realizes the danger in her offer. That people will think that his assistance stems from more than simple kindness. That people will assume the worst. That he is her brother's boss, and all the complications this could cause. And yet...she persists. She sees the shadow in his eyes, the faint give-away of a man who's seen too much, been under a great deal of stress, possibly for too long. She's seen Eric look like that once or twice and knows that, while food and wine can't solve all the problems, it can certainly help. So she offers again, teasing him, and is gratified by the quick smile, and his agreement.

Dinner is a strange thing. It feels odd, to be cooking for Miami's legendary hero. For her brother's boss. It reminds her that she's met this man a grand total of twice. She has no ideas what his preferences are. For all that he accepted her offer of dinner, and agrees to her choice of menu, she doesn't know if he actually likes the food, or is just being courteous. Still, he looks comfortable enough, settled at her table, leaning on his elbows. He's still wearing his suit jacket, but he looks so comfortable that she doesn't offer to take it. It seems as much a part of him as his blue eyes and red hair, almost. She notes that he has, however, laid the badge and gun to one side.

Small talk fills the spaces while she makes food, sets the table, pours them both a glass of wine to go with the meal. He offers to help, ever the gentleman, but it's her thank you, and she waves him back to the seat. Their eyes meet, and something happens.

Inexplicably, she doesn't quite know why, but Lieutenant Caine is gone. She can't explain it, only the feeling that the man who settles back into the seat, and offers her that wry, gentle smile, isn't the man she met at the station. The stern, authoritative lieutenant has vanished, and suddenly she's meeting Horatio Caine, the man behind the badge.

The transition startles her. Even more startling is the bemused expression in his eyes, as if this isn't something he expected either. The eyes that meet hers are amused, but surprised, as if he's not quite sure what's happened or why. For a moment, she expects him to withdraw again. Then he blinks, relaxes just a fraction more into the chair with that odd smile on his face, and she realizes she's going to get to meet Horatio Caine after all.

They settle down to dinner, and it doesn't take long for her to realize, he wasn't just being polite about the food. He genuinely seems to like it. More than that, he's familiar enough with cooking to identify some of the spices she used, and guess at her methods of preparation. He's not a bad hand at guessing the wine either. And he asks her to call him Horatio, reciprocating by calling her Marisol. She finds then that she likes his pronunciation of her name, that slight slip and hesitation between the second and third syllable, the slightly longer 'o' sound.

Within minutes, she knows something else. This man is far different from the strong, steady officer she met at the police station. The humor and courtesy are still there, as is the gentleness. But the determined, implacable exterior is gone. Horatio is shy, almost hesitant. It's not wariness she senses in him, but the odd hesitation of a boy, taking his first steps into the adult world of romance or choices. He's also very open, and in that openness, frighteningly vulnerable. It surprises her, worries her for an instant. And it's in that instant that she realizes something else. She doesn't want to hurt him, but it has less to do with her own innate kindness than it does with the fact that she likes this man. She admired the lieutenant, and appreciated him. Horatio, she likes, really likes, with a feeling she hasn't had since her first crush, before cancer made her forget everything but survival.

Their dinner conversation ranges almost every topic imaginable. Preferences, which are more similar than she guessed. He's reasonably fluent in Spanish, and a few other languages as well, though he admits freely they aren't his greatest strength. They've been to several of the same restaurants, albeit at different times. He likes sunshine and the ocean and, though he's not a great swimmer, he does enjoy being on the beach, as long as it's not case-related.

Surprisingly enough, she discovers he also likes books, and movies. He can quote several movies that she's seen, and does so with a twist of humor that makes her smile, if not outright laugh. The endearing quirk to his smile somehow manages to transfer itself to his voice, to his movements, and it adds a spark to even the simple things.

Their tastes overlap in several areas, but there's also enough difference of opinion to be interesting. She likes bright colors, he favors dark, though his white shirt looks good on him. She tends to like chic flicks and action movies. Understandably, he prefers quieter, subtler movies, but he watches the action flicks as well.

After dinner conversation has them still on the discussion, and then they switch to music. He has an astounding range of things he likes, and his ear for instrumentation is phenomenal. It becomes a game for a while, for her to play a song, and him to tell her the components that went into making it. It's an evening spent in laughter, and in warmth.

It's not until he leaves, almost embarrassingly late, that she realizes a startling truth. Not once this evening have they discussed her condition, which led to them meeting. She's had more fun in these few hours with this quiet gentleman than she can remember having in months. And...she likes him. She even has a feeling that she might be able to fall in love with him. Certainly, she'd like a chance to try.

For a moment, she drowns in half-familiar doubts. Whether or not he could possibly feel the same way. Then she remembers the change from officer to man, from Lieutenant to Horatio. His choice. His move. And she realizes that's not going to be a problem. What is a problem is the relationship between him and her brother, a relationship she doesn't want to jeopardize. She thinks for a minute, then resolves to speak to him the next day.

When she finds him at the police station, she's not sure whether she'll get the officer or the man. But the smile that greets her is every inch Horatio's smile, and he responds to her use of his name as if she's called him that all his life. And, surprisingly enough, he's as nervous as she is. Like her, he's seen the difficulty of the situation, and is gentleman enough to know the solution. She leaves with his promise that he'll speak to Eric, and it's not till she's left that she sees the humor in having him ask his own subordinate for permission to court her.

She never knows what passes between the two men. Only that Horatio calls, much later, and asks to see her, then turns up on her doorstep with a shy, delighted smile, and the news that Eric has given his approval. He says it simply, but it means the world to her, and the way he moves forward, completely unhesitant about coming to her side says more eloquently than words that he wants this too. They both know that her cancer shortens their time together, but he doesn't seem to care, and for the first time, neither does she.

The months that follow feel almost dream-like. The need to protect his reputation, and the values she was raised with, keep them from moving in together. That, and the fact that they're still getting to know each other. He's a careful man, wanting to know her better before he does anything irrevocable. She, on the other hand, is fascinated, watching the differences between the officer and the gentleman, and the way they melt seamlessly, one into the other. Two distinct faces, but each utterly and completely him. She doesn't mind moving carefully at first. After all, it's been a long time since she's been in a relationship, and he's complex enough to be worth taking the time for, even with the threat of cancer.

She learns early on that there are things she shouldn't ask him. Not that he won't answer, but he can be subtly evasive at times. More than that, there's a tension in his face, and the smile drops away. She doesn't like touching those topics, because she doesn't want to cause him trouble. She knows he'll speak of it when he's ready.

Foremost among the taboo is the discussion of his childhood. She knows his parents are deceased, but he barely speaks of it. She knows he has a brother, a niece and a nephew. There's a way he speaks of it that makes her think there's more to the story, but again, he's evasive on the topic, and she doesn't press him. She wishes she knew more about his past, but she discovers that he can, and will, talk about his work with great passion. Not that he'd ever divulge details of cases, but he does reminisce about some of the tougher moments, and some of the better moments. It's from him that she finally learns the full story of how Eric became his CSI. She knew her brother had been sponsored to the police academy by this man, but she'd never realized how closely they worked together. Through the stories of his past work, she begins to see more of him, what has shaped him.

He has an innate sense of justice, a desperate _need_ to see things put right, as deeply ingrained as her own will to survive. He adores small children, and when they're out together, more than once she sees him interacting with young kids, his eyes shining and his smile wide and ready. The courtesy he showed her at the beginning is a standard thing, he's as gentle with all women as he is with her. She almost feels jealous, but it only takes a few encounters to realize that the man these women meet is more the officer than Horatio, and the spark in his eyes, that wry smile and open vulnerability, is just for her.

She doesn't know when exactly she falls in love with him. The relationship moves faster than she expected. But then, she's not afraid. For all his reservation in public, and in the beginning, Horatio is a deeply passionate man. The intensity with which he acts as a CSI isn't limited to the workplace. By their fourth or fifth dinner together, she discovers that he's pursuing her with an equal intensity, and a passion she never expected any man to show her. Eric is perhaps passionate about protecting her, but with Horatio, she can see she means the world. He never makes a move she doesn't want, he's always calm and polite, but there's a fire in his eyes, a way he looks at her that makes the world vanish, makes her feel completely safe. It's like a dream, a fantasy straight out of lonely nights in treatment rooms. The knight in shining armor. Her knight in shining armor.

Reality comes in when she's involved in a robbery and shooting at a spa. For the first time, she realizes how dangerous his job really is. He walks hand in hand with death. It shakes her, both the sudden, personal knowledge, and the fact that he has no fear of it. But even more unsettling, she's reminded, for the first time in months, of how short her life is likely to be. And that if Horatio is her dream man come true, there's an ocean of regrets, things she wants, dreams she's long ago given up on having. She's almost forgotten those deep buried desires to have adventure, to travel, to be with a man. To have a child. But the shocking brutality of his world brings her back to ground with a thump, and she finds herself on the verge of tears, telling him about all the things she still wants. She feels almost ashamed, selfishly demanding more, but the words escape anyway.

Eric would tell her to focus on her recovery. The doctors aren't sure there is any hope, but so far, she's doing well. Her brother and her parents would tell her to focus on that, to give all her strength to that. She expects the same from him. Easy platitudes...cautions.

Instead...he gives her hope. It's almost a physical shock, hearing him speak those words. Words no one has said since she first heard she had leukemia. That it isn't too late to reach for her dreams. She turns, too surprised to think, only able to ask to try and confirm those words. "What...did you say?"

And he repeats them, offering reassurance backed by all the strength and determination of Miami's legendary CSI. The man who can beat impossible odds, and make miracles occur. Even knowing her condition, there isn't a shred of doubt in his eyes. He stands, offering her everything she's ever wanted, everything in his power to give. Including himself. Though the words are offered with Lieutenant Caine's strength, the man in his eyes is pure Horatio. Open, honest, vulnerable. Putting his heart on the line to give her freedom, if that's what she really wants. The generosity of that offer pulls her to him, takes the casual relationship they've shared to a whole new level.

That night, he gives her the first of the things she desires. Himself. Reserved and quiet, still but offering her the experience she's never had. She's watched Eric go through one woman after another, envied him his easy intimacy, while at the same time unable to imitate it. There is nothing easy in what Horatio offers, nothing casual about it. For her, it's a whole new world of experience. For him, it's vulnerability beyond belief. That night, she sees what he's been dancing around, the reason his past is taboo, unspoken of. The scars underneath the silence, the depths of the shadows that hide within the dark blue gaze. It's terrifying, holding this man's heart in her hands, holding his secrets in her grasp. In their new closeness, she can feel how a word could shatter him. There are wounds there that, if touched, could destroy him. And she knows. It's his answer to her sickness. He's read her fear of having her life stolen by the cancer. In return he's given her his own fear, the shame of exposure, which could destroy him even more thoroughly, ripping away not only his future, but his past.

The realization of how truly wonderful and precious this relationship is brings other thoughts to mind. She wants to see Horatio smile, without fear. She wants to see him relax. She wants...though this thought frightens her somewhat, she wants to see him play with his own children. Children she gives him.

That last thought requires decision on her part. Childbearing is, after all, impossible while on chemotherapy. But ending the treatments means risking the cancer. She's in remission, but there's no promise it won't come back. And if it does, she'll have shortened her life dramatically. The thought frightens her, as it has so much for the past few years. Then she contemplates the thought of losing Horatio, of watching him pass her by because she's too afraid to try. He's said it won't happen, and she knows he's too much the gentleman to lie. But it's not much different from letting the opportunity of life with him slip away. And just like that, the decision is made, to end the cancer treatments and take a chance.

He's the first one she tells, of course. After all, she knows he worries about her, and if it frightens him too much, she won't risk it. She's armed for all the arguments Eric would have, that her parents would have. She's spent years hearing them.

But Horatio isn't her parents, or her protective brother. Though he's startled, and visibly reluctant, in the end he only nods. Ever the gentleman, he makes no effort to turn her aside, no argument to try and stop her. Only the quiet agreement that she has the right to choose for herself, and the promise that he'll be right beside her. That evening, as she settles in for her treatment, he is indeed right there with her, holding her hand and gently easing her fears, even sending her to sleep as the chemo runs it's course.

She's half afraid to find him gone when she wakes. Gone for a case, or for work in general, or just gone. Perhaps not even real, another fantasy, the police officer who loved her. Instead, she wakes to deep blue eyes, and a gentle vulnerable smile, and a hand caressing hers. And looking into his eyes, unguarded as they are, she realizes that he hasn't argued with her because he understands her motivations fully. He's listened to her dreams, and like that first, fateful night, is willing to fulfill them all for her, no matter how it risks his heart.

His heart is one thing she has no intention of breaking, or damaging. But...his reputation is another, and she knows their relationship is a risky one. As private as they are, she's been to the department. People know they're together, and people talk. She doesn't want to damage him in any way. The solution to her is obvious, but she's not sure it's as plain to him. He's an officer of the law, first and foremost. His job is to protect, and he takes that even more seriously with those he loves. Then, both Lieutenant Caine and Horatio unite. She also knows, from Eric and Horatio, that he's been targeted. It doesn't worry her, but she knows it will disturb him, and is hesitant to ask. Still, the question weighs on her mind, until finally she blurts it out. "When you said, you'd be with me...does that include...marriage?"

The question terrifies her. She wants to be married. More to the point, she wants to marry him. But...she knows he's aware of the risks. Officer of the law, leader of the Miami CSI, she knows that Horatio Caine is aware of the danger, and that the safest course for both of them is refusal. But...to her surprise, it isn't Lieutenant Caine who answers. Instead, she's looking at Horatio. Too much the gentleman to press her into moving faster than she wishes, she can see the absolute, unaltered joy in his eyes when she asks him. His voice is polite as always when he answers, but under the control, she can hear the wonder. And she realizes that, for the first time, he is smiling without shadows in his eyes.

It's by mutual consent that they plan to go to the courthouse to draw up the agreement the next day. They both know they're moving fast. But then, both of them live lives forever balanced on the brink of death. At any time, her cancer could return. At any time, he could be killed by any of the numerous thugs that hunt him in the streets. So...better to grab time while they can.

It hurts, Eric's anger at her. But...she knows that Eric has only ever met Lieutenant Caine. For all their deep friendship, and all his admiration, she knows he's never seen the shy, vulnerable man beneath the mask. So she determines to move forward, despite his anger and his refusal to support her. She's already decided to not tell her parents. Eric's refusal hurts, but she can't wait for him to change his mind. Or so she thinks.

The man who meets her in the square is Horatio, smiling brightly. And yet, Lieutenant Caine is there too, in the warm confidence with which he greets her. Even more so, when he reaches out and draws Eric, now smiling and holding flowers, to her side. In that instant, her brother and the two facets of the man she loves are united, one with each other and this moment of joy. And as she turns to the courthouse, Horatio by her side, she knows one thing. She loves this man, officer and gentleman and so much more. It doesn't matter to her how short or long their time is...it's the most wonderful in the world.

**_Author's Note:_**_ Sort of a Marisol's thoughts on her relationship with Horatio drabble. First person, and tenses may wander, but I hope it was enjoyable nonetheless._


End file.
